Brainy's Really Beard Story/Part 2
"Of course, I didn't know at that time until Narrator had smurfed me that our greatest enemy Gargamel was smurfing through the same problem I was smurfing through," Brainy said. "Not that anyone among us really cared except for Tapper, though, since he was always praying for Gargamel to change. But still there was something about him other than not being able to capture us and smurf us into gold that was very unsettling to him." And as Brainy continued his story, Psycheliana and Miracle saw that Gargamel was inside his house looking at the portraits of famous wizards he had come to admire, wizards who were much more famous at their craft than he was. "I don't understand it, Azrael," Gargamel said, speaking to his cat, who was lying on the floor calmly minding his own business. "I just don't understand. Does the great Merlin look any smarter than I do? Am I not as well-read as Monrovia? Surely I'm as nasty as Sloane?" Azrael just looked at Gargamel and mewed as if trying to understand what his master was getting at. "And yet nobody ever listens to me," Gargamel continued on. "They have something, Azrael, something special. Something in common that accounts for their fame. But what could it be?" Gargamel paced around back and forth, alternating between looking at the portraits and looking away from them as if meditating on that very question he was asking. Then suddenly he stopped pacing as inspiration hit him. "That's it, Azrael! It's so obvious! It's as obvious as the stupid hair on their faces! They all have beards!" He went to the mirror that was sitting on his work table and looked at his face. "Well, I'll grow a beard, and what a beard it will be...full, long, imposing, a beard to put all others to shame! My beard will be thicker than Merlin's, longer than Monrovia's, and rougher than Sloane's!" Suddenly Gargamel picked up his cat and placed him right along his chinline, imagining what he would look like with a full beard. "Yes, Azrael, I can see me now," Gargamel said with unbridled glee. "I'll be recognized as the wisest wizard in the world." ----- "Meanwhile, as this was smurfing on, I was smurfing a break fishing in a nearby stream with Clumsy beside me on the log, trying to smurf the time so that I could think on my dilemma without being disturbed by anyone...which was when Clumsy had smurfed me with some inspiration," Brainy said. And as Brainy continued his story, Psycheliana and Miracle saw Brainy and Clumsy sitting together on a log hanging over a nearby stream with makeshift fishing poles borrowed from Fisher Smurf. Brainy just sat there deep in thought with his eyes closed, but Clumsy watched with his eyes open as a wasp came over and landed right on top of Brainy's glasses. "Uh, Brainy...," Clumsy tried to say. "Not now, Clumsy, I'm deep in thought," Brainy said. "But, but Brainy...," Clumsy tried again. "Please, Clumsy, just don't disturb me," Brainy said. "Well, okay, but I just want to tell you there's a wasp on your glasses," Clumsy said. Brainy suddenly opened his eyes. "My glasses? That's it!" In his realization, though, Brainy accidentally knocked Clumsy off the log and straight into the water, where he was starting to be carried away by the stream's currents. "Help, Brainy!" Clumsy called out, clutching to a small stump on the log for dear life. But Brainy was too much on a roll to listen. "The only difference between me and Papa Smurf, Clumsy, is that I wear glasses," he said, now standing up. "Maybe if I could smurf through an entire day without wearing them, other Smurfs would have to start noticing me." "Brainy, I can't keep smurfing on for much longer," Clumsy pleaded. Brainy then looked and saw that Clumsy was in the stream, about to be carried away. "Oh, Clumsy, this is certainly no time for a swim," Brainy said as he reached down to pull his friend up. "We've got to smurf back to the village to try out my hypothesis and see what the Smurfs think of the new me." "New you? Gosh, Brainy, what made you decide to not like the old you all of a sudden?" Clumsy asked. "There's no time now to explain it fully, since you wouldn't fully understand it," Brainy said as he hurried off toward the village with Clumsy following. ----- "Meanwhile, Tapper and Duncan were busy minding their own smurfness when they saw me and Clumsy smurfing by them in a flash," Brainy said to his two young Smurfs. And as Brainy continued with his story, Psycheliana and Miracle saw Tapper and Duncan both carrying barrels of sarsaparilla ale with them from the distillery to the tavern when they saw Brainy running right past them, and then Clumsy following right behind him. "Great Smurfiny Crickets, I wonder what smurf of inspiration our dear fellow Brainy has smurfed up with this time," Tapper said. "Ah, smurfs me if I knew what smurfs on in the laddie's brain," Duncan said. "I just hope he doesn't hurt other Smurfs with this sudden brilliance of his." "Oh well, I guess I'll just have to smurf it in the hands of the Almighty," Tapper said before the two of them continued on. Brainy went straight to his house, where he carefully took off his glasses and placed them on his desk in a special holding case. He tried to look around as best as he could, but everything was a blurry mess. Nonetheless, he decided to soldier on with this new look and headed for the door, bumping straight into it before he felt for the door handle and carefully opened it. Clumsy looked at Brainy just as he emerged from his house, his eyes squinting in order to see clearly. "Uh, Brainy, is that you?" Clumsy asked, almost not recognizing his friend without his glasses on. "Of course it is, Clumsy," Brainy answered. "Why do you need to ask?" "Well, I think you should smurf on your glasses, because you really smurf better with them on," Clumsy said. "Clumsy, Clumsy, Clumsy, such intellectual brilliance like mine has no need for mechanical contrivances like a pair of glasses," Brainy said confidently as he started to walk off toward the center of the village, only to bump into something along the way and fall to the ground. "Uh, here, Brainy, let me help you up," Clumsy said, offering his hand. "Thank you, Clumsy, but I'm pretty capable of smurfing back on my feet all by myself," Brainy said, carefully picking himself back him and dusting himself off before continuing on his way. However, his journey would face another stumbling block in the form of running into another Smurf he could barely see. "Hey, Brainy, why don't you watch where you're going?" the other Smurf said. And then he looked at Brainy and said, "And why aren't you smurfing your glasses?" "This is my new look, which I hope to be smurfing for the forsmurfable future," Brainy explained. "From now on, every Smurf will be respecting me as they do Papa Smurf." "Respecting you?" the other Smurf scoffed. "Ha! That's a good laugh. Hardly anyone respected you before when you smurfed glasses. What makes you think they'll respect you now?" "You'll see, and you'll eat your own words when I prove it to you that I don't need glasses to be respected among my fellow Smurfs," Brainy said rather proudly. And then he noticed two Smurfs along his way: Painter and Smurfette. Although the Smurfette he was seeing was actually a painting that Painter was working on while the real Smurfette was posing by the window of her house. "What are you going to call this one, Painter?" Smurfette asked. "This is going to be called A Vision Of Loveliness By The Window," Painter answered as he applied another brush stroke. "Oh, how smurfy!" Smurfette said. "I can't wait to see how it smurfs when it's finished." "Ah, Smurfette, there you are, and smurfing lovelier than ever," Brainy said as he approached where Painter and Smurfette were, stumbling right into the painting and knocking it over with the easel. Painter was livid when he saw what happened. "My masteurpiesa! She is ruined!" He then stared daggers straight at Brainy. "M'sieu Brainy, you make me so mad, I can see red!" And with that, Brainy was hurled to the village limits, landing on his head as usual. "Red? RED? OF COURSE!" Brainy shouted, having a new revelation. "Why didn't I see it before? Papa Smurf gets his wisdom from his red suit." He then turned himself right-side up and began to think further. "I suppose if I had a red suit just like Papa Smurf's, then every Smurf will have to respect me and listen to me. I'll have to test that hypothesis out as soon as I return to my house and smurf back on my glasses." He got up and headed straight back into the village, crying out, "Hey, Clumsy, where are my glasses?" ----- Psycheliana and Miracle both laughed together. "I guess that plan didn't smurf out as well as you hoped, Uncle Brainy," Psycheliana said. "He's always funny like that, Liana, even when I was just little and he was smurfing care of me," Miracle said. "You two should respect your elders instead of laughing at them," Brainy said, rather displeased at their reaction. "So I admit, smurfing off my glasses wasn't the most brilliant thing I have done to try smurfing any respect towards me. But I was young and didn't know better like I do now as a more mature Smurf. And I wasn't finished trying to smurf for that one thing that would get me that respect I felt that I so deserved for smurfing hours into being the Smurf that I am today. So the next place I went to was Tailor's shop." And as Brainy continued his story, Psycheliana and Miracle both saw Tailor busy in his shop sewing up a new pair of pants for Papa Smurf when he heard a knocking on his door. He opened and saw that it was Brainy. "Ah, welcome, welcome," Tailor said. "What can I smurf you for today? Another new pair of pants that will make you distinguished among your fellow Smurfs?" "More than that, Tailor," Brainy said. "I want a new outfit that will make me just as distinguished as Papa Smurf. And I want it all in red." "All in red?" Tailor said, sounding surprised. "Brainy, have you lost your smurf? Only Papa Smurf wears red around here." "I think it's time that another Smurf should be wearing his colors, and I don't care what other Smurfs think about that," Brainy said. "I just want to get it smurfed and ready before the day's end. Can you do that?" "Can I do that?" Tailor said, as if he was being challenged. "Of course I can! But I tell you, this whole thing just smurfs of total smurfdiculousness if you ask me." "I'm not here to ask for your opinion about it, Tailor," Brainy said. "Besides, you should know that the customer is always right." "And sometimes they're just right out of their minds," Tailor muttered before sighing in resignation. "Okay, Brainy, let's get you measured up first and foremost." ----- "And so with diligence and skill, Tailor had smurfed me up a whole new suit made of red cloth, and when I smurfed it on for the first time, I felt like I was really distinguished among my peers as a Smurf of wisdom and intelligence, just like Papa Smurf," Brainy said. "Of course, that would soon be tested when I first smurfed this new look among my fellow Smurfs." And as Brainy continued on with his story, Psycheliana and Miracle saw Brainy step out of Tailor's shop wearing a red hat and pants just like Papa Smurf. Clumsy, Tapper, and Duncan greeted him as he stepped out with this new look. "Great Smurfiny Crickets, my fellow Brainy, what are you up to this time?" Tapper asked. "Don't tell me you're smurfing over as the new leader of the Smurf Village, as if Papa Smurf would smurf over the reins of this village to the likes of you, laddie," Duncan said. "Not yet, my fellow Duncan, but he eventually will," Brainy said. "Right now I just need to show my fellow Smurfs how superior in intellect and wisdom and morality that I am with my new look. So what do you think?" "Gosh, Brainy, I think the other Smurfs will really smurf notice of you this time," Clumsy said. "The suit looks nice on you, Brainy, but I think you may have oversmurfed your boundaries as a Smurf among your own peers," Tapper said. "I'd say," Duncan said in agreement. "The other Smurfs would say you're smurfing too big for your britches trying to wear Papa's clothes as your everyday thing." "They're going to have to smurf used to it, and so will you two," Brainy said confidently. "Now I just need to have Harmony summon the other Smurfs to me so that I can show them this new look." Tapper and Duncan both watched as Brainy and Clumsy walked off together. "Well, laddie, we can't say that we didn't warn him," Duncan said to Tapper. "O Lord God Almighty, please protect my friend Brainy from his own arrogance and smurf him to a place of humility where he will learn a lesson from all this," Tapper said as he looked skyward. ----- Soon, with Harmony signaling the other Smurfs to gather together with his horn, Brainy found himself surrounded by the other Smurfs who were curious as to why they were gathered together. "Hey, what's smurfing?" Handy asked. "Exactamente my question," Painter said, equally stymied. "Is Papa Smurf going to make an announcement?" Smurfette asked. "And why is Brainy wearing red all of a sudden?" Greedy asked. "Don't tell me he's going to take over the village now," Hefty said. "I hate Brainy taking over the village," Grouchy said. "I don't know about him taking over the village, but Brainy is certainly good for a laugh," Jokey said, laughing. "Actually, my fellow Smurfs, it is I, Brainy Smurf, who have summoned you together so that I could impress upon you a few important words of wisdom that I feel is necessary to smurf unto you today," he began to say. A good deal of the Smurfs decided they would rather walk away than listen to what Brainy had to say, which left him with just Clumsy, Smurfette, Painter, and a few other Smurfs standing by him. "My fellow Smurfs," Brainy continued, "as I stand before you in the splendor that symbolizes my wisdom, I can smurfly tell you that..." And immediately after, Brainy found himself hurled to the village limits and landing on his head, red suit and all. Then Brainy had another flash of inspiration that hit him at that moment. "It must be the beard." 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